and effective. You may embellish the sentences for effect and clarification, as necessary, for a more audience-oriented tone.? The enclosed is the copy of my revision which has been rejected by the instructor for further improvement.
1. You can rest easily knowing that ADT, the #1 Security Company in America, is helping to protect your home and family.
2. We're the VCA Albany Animal Hospital, your local neighborhood animal hospital, and we're now accepting appointments. We hope to hear from you soon!
3. You will be happy to know that your donation to the California Organization of Police & Sheriffs (COPS) can benefit members with a variety of resources.
4. It's no coincidence that 97% of our customers are satisfied, which is why you should become a GEICO policyholder today.
5. For your convenience, I am pleased to notify you that all customers who make payment in full within one month of their purchase date will receive 5% off their next order, so I hope you take advantage of this offer by sending in your payment as soon as possible.
6. As clearly stated in the contract, we need your payment before we can send you the requested merchandise.
7. We know you will be satisfied with this card and we want to make the offer as clear as possible: 0% APR on all purchases posted to your account by 09/01/16 and all balance transfers until 12/01/16; this offer does not include cash advances.
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